My First Film Role...

So I filmed my scene for my first movie today. It was wonderful. Lots of fun. I truly enjoyed the experience. On Friday I have to go back to record the songs for the film as well, that's right, I'm going to be the one singing the songs for the film. CRAZY! I really hope they don't hear me and say, wow... so you suck, and it sounded like a goat just died. Lol. Either way, I'm excited. I also have another audition tomorrow that will be fun, and a photo shoot next Saturday for some new headshots and random shots. I'm excited. I know that I've just barely gotten in the door and I'm in a gigantic room with so many people that peeing your pants is the only option because there's no way to find the bathroom let alone actually get there, but I'm pretty damn excited to be in the room and peeing myself. Not gonna lie. I have SUCH a long way to go, and so many hurdles to jump, and a lot of weight to loose so I can jump them, (lol), but I'm excited for it all. I know now that I can do it, and although it's going to be very difficult, it'll be well worth it once I get to where I'm going. Plus, I'm sure the way there won't be all bad. :)

Christmas Shopping

So i got up at 5 this morning and got to Walmart by 530. Found a parking spot right away, which i thought was pretty awesome, and even parallel parked into it with no problem. *that generally doesn't happen*. So i get in there and automatically my jaw dropped at the amount of people not only in there, but at the lines. Apparently when i saw all the cars outside i didn't calculate that to the amount of people that would be inside. my bad. so i'm weaving in and out of people, which proved to be very difficult, but i did it. i got to the electronics as they had movies for $2 and up. heck yes!!! I got Elizabeth every Harry Potter movie so far. Hope she likes it. :s Got my mom Ghost Rider, *because for some crazy odd reason she liked it regardless of how terrible Nicholas Cage is at acting*, the Sex in the City movie, so i can get mine back, haha, she loves it that much. I also got Reign Over Me for her, because it's an amazing movie and i just know that she'll love it if she hasn't seen it already. I had the 20th Anniversary of Shark Week for Brian already so I wasn't really looking for him but I found a few things anyway. He's been bugging me about getting 300 for awhile, he really really wants it, and i found it for $13, so i said okay, he gets it. I also found Get Smart, which he really really wanted to see in theaters. *We went to the drive in and it was the last movie playing. He fell asleep during the first two movies and wanted me to wake him up for that movie and i kept trying but he would have nothing to do with waking up, so he missed it.* it was hilarious, so i know he'll love it. I was going to get a few other things, but my check was significantly less than i had thought it was going to be, so i couldn't. but later when i have money again, someday, if there are any left of a few things, and they aren't terribly overpriced again, i might get them. Either way, i'll have more for them than i did last year. Which makes me feel a little better. Brian and I are going to Menards when he gets off work to find a fire place & mantel for his mom for christmas. So that will be nice. I'm excited. I really want to give everyone these things today, but obviously, can't. Oh well. I'm happy that I have something for them all this year. Even if they are all movies, it's what i do. :)


Side Note... I realize that the punctuation in this blog is absolutely terrible, and it goes back and forth a lot. I'm okay with it. :)

Painful, Jumbled Thoughts

Nothing bright and shiny,
No happy endings,
My cure is failing me,
'I'm fine' becomes an annoying rumor,
No one to talk to,
My thoughts too harsh and jumbled,
For even me to understand,
My disgusting vices coming back to me,
Hating myself more every day,
Wishing there was a way to escape me,
I was once in love with love, and life,
I'm now a cynic and a hateful, angry being,
My experiences weakened me,
To become this pathetic sole I now am,
Fading away into nothing would be too easy,
This void I have is more painful,
Then the emotions that I have destroyed,
Ashamed of the things I've become,
I'm all the things they said I would be,
Despite my lousy attempts at life,
Slowly giving up on everything,
On the dream that they can accept who I really am,
Someday the pain will be gone,
Whether my existence will last to see it...

My Interesting 5 Day Weekend

So I took Monday and Tuesday off of work this week which extended my weekend into 5 days, (which was wonderful) :) Friday I went to Bell & Lee's (the twin's parents) and had movie night. We've been having movie nights since before I had my license, I love going over there and hanging out with them. They're awesome. Plus now that they have the twins I get to spend time with them too, those are two of the most adorable girls I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. They're amazing. Anyway. So instead of watching a movie Bell decided that I really need to see this show Dexter. It sounded kind of lame to me, but I figured if I really didn't like it she said we could watch a movie instead. Sounds good. I can sit through one episode. OMG! I am obsessed with that show now! We stayed up until 7 in the morning watching the entire first season! I have the second season coming on Netflix and the third is saved on Netflix because it's not actually out yet. I love it. I recommend it to anyone who can stand to see blood in a show, (he's a blood specialist police officer, oh and he's gorgeous). Anyway, so we did that. After the show I was wayyyy too wired to just go to sleep so I figured I'd drive to Hinckley (about an hour away from their place) and then sleep for a bit as my mom and sister shouldn't be up for a few hours. Wrong. I get home... Mom just woke up. Bulf. Fine, so I slept for an hour after she got up and then the day really started. The Kid's (my sister) friend Amber came over and we all went to North Branch to go shopping. I did get a few cute things, not gonna lie. *side bar, I also bought two pair of beautiful high heel shoes, one of which is technically a boot, on friday* So we get back to Hinckley and it's time to go to mom's new house to start unpacking the things that are there. Now this is a very little house, and she had a lot of crap. So it was difficult just manuvering ourselves around the boxes let alone actually unpacking them. But we did it. We probably got half of what was in there unpacked... YEY! Back to the old place to pack what was still there. Haha. I was so tired mom told me to go to sleep for another hour and then come help. So I did. She woke me up an hour and a half later and I didn't know what day it was, what time it was, where I was or who she was. I was 100% crazy shit out of it. It was interesting. Anyway we got to bed around 1am or so. In that time I also managed to finish my first scarf! I love it, I'm proud of it, even though it's a little funny looking. Yey! So Sunday Bell, Lee, the girls, Amber and her mom all came over to help us move. That gave us two trucks, a trailer and a van. We still had to make more than one trip. Lol. And again, the new house was terribly full of stuff. Monday morning I woke up @ 430 for the wonderful experience of being in the commercial for the Grand Casino *which I get paid for :)* and it was pretty exciting. I was terrified. I'm not very social, and I definitely come off that way, so it took about half the day before I actually started talking to anyone. But once I did it was great, everyone was incredibly nice and I learned a lot from the main talent *actors* as they've been in the business for anywhere from 10-30 years. So they knew a little more than me. :) Tuesday was the same, it was so much fun. Again, terrified. But fun. And, they gave us free fruit and peanut m&m's, my two favorite things. yey! :) Anyway. I got home last night, went to Doug & Katie's place with Brian for a little bit, and then back home. Now I am off to start my first day in a 10 day spree of work days. It was a pretty great weekend overall. :)

My New Found Hobbies...

So I've taken up crocheting. Yey! I feel like an old lady saying it, but i really like doing it. I feel like i'm accomplishing something. I don't really know what i'm making right now, but it doesn't look deformed which is impressive by my standards. I used to read like crazy when I was younger, but haven't lately. I've probably read 3 books in the past 3 years. Well i'm starting with that now too. Just finished two books and I have another coming in the mail. :) In addition to reading, I've decided to start writing. This is really exciting because I've wanted to write since I was little. I always thought it would be wonderful to write a book, screenplay, whatever. I have so many little ideas in my head that I could put together, or even just a mildly fictionalized version of my childhood. I just don't know where to start, but i'm craving the project right now... that's for sure. I cleaned the apartment on the downtime from the above mentioned things, work and traveling (only around MN & WI). I decided to finally synch some great workout songs to the IPOD my dad gave me when I was out there so hopefully I make workingout a little more enjoyable by not having to flip through 400 songs on my little Mp3 player trying to find a decent, non-depressingly slow, song to run to. I'm just trying to keep myself busy and I'm starting to really enjoy it. I just wish I had more money currently, it would make keeping myself busy a lot easier.

Katie and Doug move in on Wed. down the street. I'm pretty excited. Katie will be here tonight and tomorrow night as she starts her new job down here tomorrow anyway. It'll be nice having my friends around again.

Lovely.

My Passion in Life...

so my trip has been wonderful so far. we're going to San Francisco tomorrow, which i'm actually more excited for than i originally presumed i would be. which is good i suppose. it'll be a lot of fun. we saw some cousins today, it was wonderful, i haven't seen them in probably 5-6 years. that was awesome! we just went to see Mamma Mia in theater. Now, I went to see it about 7 years ago as a play in San Francisco with my dad and a friend. It was AMAZING! I fell in love with the play automatically, and ABBA songs for that matter. I knew right then and there that I had to be in that play someday, it completely took hold of me. Seeing it tonight as a movie did the exact same thing for me. I'm going to be randomly bursting into Abba songs for the next two weeks and loving it! I can only hope that some theatre in Minnesota will be doing it within the next year so I can audition. It would be the most amazing experience of my life! Anyway, until next time... Mamma Mia, here i go again, my my, how can I resist you?? ;)

The Conclusion of Girls Night, and the Beginning of Cali...

So, to finish off where my last post
started... the Girls Night was AMAZING. i got a little tipsy on some crazy great Applebee's drinks and we all kind of got on the waiters nerves because we had sooo many questions about the food and drinks. we went back home to my place after a long time of deciding and eating there and just hung out for the majority of the night. made a late night cub run for some sweets and munchies, then just stayed up gossiping and playing games, OH! We died Katie's hair red... like, red red, it's awesome. :) I even convinced Katie and Doug to move in together down here so she's getting out of Pine County and they're moving in right by my work... which also happens to be right by my apartment! That's probably the best news of all. I'll be able to see them whenever I want and that above all will be wonderful. .....*my sister is digging through my wallet currently and it's driving me crazy. she looked @ my id, "why would you want to be a donor?", "why do you have this card?" blahblah......* anyway. i'm very excited for all of that.



Onto more current news. I'm in Cali this week for vacation. I'm visiting my dad, some family, supposed to be visiting my friends but not one of them has responded to my attempts to contact them about getting together. Fine, whatever, I can deal with it. I brought my little sister along, I figured it'd be nice for her to get out of MN for awhile, have some fun, spend some time with her big sister, and do something for one of the last weeks of her summer. Good times. We've been here since midnight Saturday night and we haven't fought once. This is the longest we've ever gone without wanting to kill each other. I'm quite impressed actually. We went to an A's game yesterday (I love the A's. Their my home team and always will be. No matter how long I'm in MN. Chavez, #3, 3rd Basemen, is my favorite.... Love Him!) :) Anyway. They got killed by the White Sox, 13-1. It was pretty bad. But hey, at the end of the game when they got that one run, it was pretty exciting for all of us. haha. We had a crazy funny guy sitting next to us too, so that was pretty entertaining. I got a pretty deep sunburn on my right shoulder, arm, neck, face, and yes... my entire left ear. I look a little funny right now, but I'm hoping with all the time I'll be in the sun this week I'll eventually even out on the left side. It hurts, but it looks like it will turn into a very nice tan quickly. That's exciting. :) Today we're going to go shopping. Walk down to the Broadway Plaza and then my dad will meet us and take us to Kohls and then Sunvalley Mall. That should be fun. Then tomorrow we're going to go to San Francisco to Pier 39 and go to the little shops, through the Aquarium of the Bay, possibly go out on the fairy-not quite sure about that yet. But yeah, that should be tremendously fun. Especially for Elizabeth (that's my sister). Thursday we're visiting with some cousins. And thank goodness for Elizabeth, she brought two swim suits so I got to go swimming with her yesterday. yey! hopefully we'll do that again while we're here. good times. Well, I should probably get going. Lots to do today... lol.